COLUMN: Sophomore deals with a difficult roommate
Most of my life, I’ve had to share my room with my brother. From the time he was born until my senior year of high school, we’ve always shared a bedroom.
When we were younger this wasn’t a problem. But as we both started getting older and going through puberty, things were stressful and annoying — especially since we’re only 17 months apart.
Somebody had to take a shower at night, and the other in the morning. We couldn’t change in the bedroom, and we had to be extra quiet at night if the other person wanted to sleep.
But the biggest challenge of all was sharing. I know; we’ve all been taught to share since we were little kids. But it sucks. Especially when you start buying your own things in high school.
This was one of the reasons I was so excited for college. I’d be totally independent. I’d have my own space. I’d buy my own groceries and whatever else I needed to live.
That’s not how it happened though. There were a couple of issues that contributed to this: 1) I roomed with one of my friends from high school, and 2) I’m really passive aggressive.
Let’s address the first problem. Do not, I repeat, do not live with someone you went to high school with. I know two people who this worked for. It’s just not going to end well.
Both of us were way too comfortable with each other, which led her to thinking it was OK to use my laundry detergent, borrow my shoes and eat my food without asking.
Maybe most people are OK with this kind of stuff, but I’m not. We already established I was happy to get the chance to have everything to myself.
Problem number two: I suck at confrontation. Looking back, I should have just confronted my roommate when I was upset when this all started happening.
After taking interpersonal communication this year, I learned how to have difficult conversations. If I’ve learned anything from that class and from my first year, it’s that you just have to be real with people.
My roommate and I could have avoided so much awkwardness if I had just told her I was upset. Instead, I ended up moving out and we didn’t talk for over a year.
We’re just now able to see each other and say hi without things being weird. Don’t do this to yourself. Also, don’t be that person who uses other people’s things without asking.
Do yourself a favor and set up rules and boundaries right away. If you don’t like people using your stuff, just say that. If you like to clean every Saturday, just say that.
I promise your life will be much easier, and you’ll be able to focus on having fun during your first year.
