After years of making the same mistake over and over, I have finally learned a very important lesson. The lesson is as follows: women have absolutely no idea what they are talking about when it comes to men, so stop asking them for advice.
I’m sorry, ladies, but it’s true. Admit it. None of us have any idea what we’re talking about when the subject of guys comes up, and yet we always ask each other what to do. Think about it. When was the last time you asked a female friend for advice about a guy and whatever she said worked out according to plan?
I don’t know about you, but I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel to think of an example.
For years I have consulted other women for dating advice and been completely mislead. It’s not that it happens on purpose; it’s just that sometimes we overanalyze every little detail and overthink things that are insignificant.
What winds up happening is that we all tell each other exactly what we want to hear, even if it’s wrong.
From this it follows that we’ll go and do something completely stupid and nonsensical because a room full of women who watch too many romantic comedies assured us it would work. We say things that make us sound insane. We refuse to give up and move on. We make up excuses for the dumb guy so we have a reason to continue to waste our time chasing him.
Maybe his grandmother died. Maybe he’s studying. Maybe he’s at work.
Maybe he found a Stargate, travelled through another dimension and is now too busy discovering the secrets of ancient Egyptian architecture to respond to my text message. I mean, that sounds just as likely to me as any of those reasons for why he hasn’t gotten back to me.
What’s really going on is he’s not talking to me because he isn’t interested. That’s it. And yet all women in a five mile radius will somehow convince me I’m wrong using terrible logic they learned from Disney movies. I’m no better because I continue to buy into all of it in the hopes that someone who is all wrong for me will change their mind.
What I really cannot grasp is when my female friends ask me for advice on guys like I’m an expert. They seem to forget all the nights I’ve sat with them over drinks and picked apart an entire five minute conversation with a guy in the hopes that they can find something I didn’t. And it doesn’t seem to matter what I say, because if it’s not what they want to hear they’ll ask someone else.
Ladies, we need to stop doing this. If we have a problem with a guy, we need to ask a guy what to do. Why?
Because guys know how guy brains work and women don’t.
So do yourself a favor and find yourself a male friend who will tell you like it is. It’s the only way to get solid advice. Make sure you take it, too, even if it isn’t what you want to hear. He’s probably right.
Reach Betsey Horton at Elizabeth.Horton@usd.edu