COLUMN: Monogamy is outdated
Because we are in college, relationships seem like a relevant topic. I do not proclaim to be an expert by experience. I speak here as a physician, and remember one need not have experienced the disease of the patient to be able to cure it. As it concerns a change of perspective, I do see a major alteration worth looking into. I am simply offering a fix so people can live fuller, more joyful, spontaneous lives spent with a cornucopia of people.
Instead, one ought to be open to all of whom they encounter through life and not be bounded by attachments to certain people or ideas about one ought to do. I especially would like to make the case that monogamous relationships are outdated. This point will tie into the greater argument.
The cause of our frustrations is attachments. We want reality to be a certain way and we want others to fit our mold, but could you imagine if all people were like you? It would be truly horrid. The world needs diversity. Life is all about evolution of personality and character. Elements draw together to form more complex forms and relationships.
People evolve at different rates, and because of this, at some point one needs to let go of people to meet others at their own level of maturity. It is futile to try to change others. They will only change if they want to, and no amount of effort on your part will alter them. By altering ones own life we can show others our example, but again, it is their choice. Sometimes compassion means moving on. We ought to hold ourselves in the highest regard. No one went to the moon that didn’t reach for the stars.
In many relationships, we use that person to hide from the world. Because they are a safety net, you try to control them so they do not leave you. You want them all to yourself and nobody else. Individuals are misers when it comes to friends and relationships. One says, “This is my friend” or, “This is my boy/girlfriend.” These are very subtle bonds of control.
Why only open your heart to one or a few people? No one is yours and anyone can leave you at any time – and indeed they should if they can be happier elsewhere. True love is letting the other person go, or giving them space. Love is not needy or manipulative. Love is trusting. Love says, “Go have fun with other people and be yourself.” Guilt is not a feeling anyone should feel.
Bringing together of two under the yoke
United in love, a love shared between two only
Giving not love to the other, a selective love
But no soul mate exists
Out of millions of souls, one is bound to one only?
When so many have so much to offer?
Don’t we restrict ourselves by combining only two?
And not three and four?
Alas — the brevity of this text compels me to conclude. I’ll mention one has been indoctrinated with beliefs about what reality is, what relationships are, yet these understandings are from age-old crypts. While the wisdom of age is to be given its due respect, at some point it must recede so the new may arise. In short, it is far best to express our instincts, because of our instincts are not expressed they become a pestilence. Above all, respect the other person, do not attach to them for all attachment becomes needy and controlling. Open up your mind to new
possibilities.
