COLUMN: Note to students: Take care during D-Days

Greetings, fellow students. This is the “tallygirl” speaking. You may have seen me sitting on the “drunk bus,” complacently carving tallies on a clipboard. This is one of my jobs and it requires me to work both Friday and Saturday nights of

Dakota Days.

Because of this fact, I feel the need to remind my fellow students of the rules of D-Days. These are the logical rules, not the ones listed on the backs of all those ridiculous T-shirts I’ve seen on Facebook.

First, please moderate. I realize there is a lot of social pressure to drink as much as humanly possible, but that doesn’t mean you have to do 10 shots in five minutes. There is no glory in being too drunk to function, blacking out, throwing up all over the place or having a hangover.

Know your limits and don’t go past them. There is nothing wrong with not getting totally wasted. Not wanting to drink more isn’t uncool. It’s a smart choice,and don’t let some toolbag convince you otherwise. You might be made fun of now, but it’s better than waking up in a hospital bed and finding out you had to have your stomach pumped.

Second, be nice to the sober people. This includes, but is not limited to, Safe Ride Monitors, the University of South Dakota crisis team, your friends and the police. We gave up our weekend to make sure you stay safe. A “thank you” here and there would be appreciated.

Those of you under 21 would do well to remember that “it’s D-Days” is not an excuse if you get caught. If you do, don’t present your fake I.D. to the cops. It will only make things worse.

For everyone in the over-21 crowd, mind your bar etiquette. Tip your bartenders who are awesome and deserve it. Also, don’t argue with the doormen. If you’re told you’re too drunk to come in, it means you’re too drunk to come in. Don’t get upset and cause a scene. Just take the opportunity to go home and take a nap.

For those of you attending house parties, there are a few things to remember. Don’t lock yourself in the bathroom, especially if it is the only one in the house. You will automatically become the most unpopular person at the party. Keep the noise down, anyone under 18 out and don’t have sex in a bed that does not belong to you.

While we’re on the topic of sex, please don’t do it in public. I know copious amounts of booze increases everyone’s libido, but it can wait until you get back to your room. Alleyways, lawns, etc., are inappropriate.

Standard rules apply for my fellow young ladies. Don’t leave your drink unattended, don’t go anywhere alone with someone who makes your skin crawl and don’t let some jerk convince you that you owe him sexual favors because he bought you a case of cheap beer.

Finally, do not drive. Walk if you can and if the booze has disabled your motor capabilities, call USD Safe Ride (the “drunk bus”). It’s free, and we will take you anywhere you want to go. If you’re lucky, you might even catch a glimpse of my

disenchanted smirk.

Stay safe, USD.

Reach columnist Betsey Horton at [email protected]