BLOG: Greek guy breaks down relationships and when girls should just walk away

I believe every person on this campus who isn’t a complete introvert and has at least one female friend has heard the following at least once during each semester: “My boyfriend is such a jerk, like I don’t even know why I date him sometimes.”

This sentence will inevitably be followed by the friends expressing sympathy, sharing the misery and eventually posing the dreaded question, “Why don’t you break up with him?” This immediately causes two almost simultaneous responses from the girl; first, she’ll get this wide-eyed expression like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. The second response will be a verbal one, with the girl giving a somewhat desperate defense of the guy she likely had been complaining about for about a half an hour.

Ladies, as a representative of the male community I need to tell you something. Frankly, we’re sick of the whining and the mudslinging. As much as we love to hear you talk crap about a guy all day, we don’t want to hear it again and again. Plus, as guys, we know the situation usually falls into one of two categories. Either the guy is a jerk but you’re not willing to end the relationship for fear of going back to being single and alone, or the guy really isn’t that bad but you’re either overcritical of him or you’re a pity junky. What I’m trying to say is you either need to grow a backbone and drop the parasite you call a boyfriend, or you need to get off the guy’s back and shut up. The guy you crap on is sometimes our friend, and we’re sick of it.

For those of you females who really do have boyfriends who suck, I can understand your fear of becoming single again. The world outside of a relationship can be a cold and unforgiving place, and a breakup can often strain or even break friendships that grew because of the relationship. So, you tell yourself that you can make it work, that you can change him into a better man and that you can bring back the magic spark that brought you together. I’m here to tell you that in all likelihood, your efforts will end in bitterness and failure. You have to understand that for the majority of us males, we aren’t capable of making changes that we have no desire to make, and this is especially true with jerks. We may get better at hiding it or we may get sloppier at it, but we don’t change. Science can’t bring back something that is dead and you can’t save a dead relationship either, you can only cut it loose and look for something alive.

Now, if you do get the courage to dump the loser (or you’ve at least read this far without throwing the paper aside in denial) I have a few tips to avoid getting reattached to a similar parasite. The first tip is change where you try to meet guys. It never ceases to amaze me when I talk to my sisters about the jerks they’ve dated, that they always pick them up in the same setting. Ladies, you have to understand that douche bags are like flies, they tend to swarm around the same places. They also tend to annoy the good guy, thus limiting your options in regards to this. If you picked up your last relationship disaster at a bar, chances are you’ll run into others like him at the same bar. Go to other bars, get involved with activities and do something different. One definition of insanity is performing the same outcome and expecting a different outcome. The same applies to dating.

Secondly, you need to disregard the idea that all nice guys are taken or aren’t interested in you. There are guys who are interested in you and single, you just tend to overlook them in favor of the hot guy at the bar similar to your last boyfriend. Guys, you have the same problem in regards to women and the nightmare girlfriends you end up with. These guys have been passed over so many times that will treat any girl who does notice them like a lady, and often times have more personality and empathy than the guys who don’t have to work hard at getting a girl. I’m not saying you have to give every guy a chance — some guys are just creepy— but you may want to look more closely at the behavior of some of the men around you.

The final piece of advice I can give is be patient. You don’t need to be in a relationship in order to have a good time. You’re young and in college, so enjoy yourself a little bit and play the field. If you settle with the first guy who treats you halfway decent, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Keep the guy in mind, but look at the options around you and see if he’s the best you can do. If he is, ask yourself if you could see yourself in a serious relationship with him. If the answer is no, then wait for a better prospect to come along. No one says you can’t look for the kind of guy you want, but don’t settle with someone simply because you don’t see him right away. He may be closer than you think.