COLUMN: Respecting women often overlooked

Our years in college can be quite confusing, as many of the boundaries and rules that were set in high school become blurred or just thrown out the window. College represents the start of our lives as young adults, who are no longer under the watchful eyes of teachers, parents and other community members. So it’s not surprising that on occasion people may go a little overboard sometimes.

There are limits to how far we students should go. Getting drunk once in a while is one thing, but getting drunk and then vomiting in different spots all over the dorm is not acceptable. While we are essentially free to act as we wish for the first time, we’re also expected to act like young adults and should behave as such. This is especially relevant for the men on campus and how they react to women.

Guys, I can understand how tough it can be at times to know what is and isn’t appropriate around college women, especially the insane ones. At times, they out-drink and out-party even the heaviest of male alcoholics, wear what would amount to in other cultures as rags for fashion and sometimes can be shameless flirts. This manner of behavior can be very confusing for men, and sometimes you may not know how to proceed. However, before you say or do anything to a woman; you should ask yourself one simple question:

Is the thing I’m going to say or do ethical or legal without her consent, or has she given me consent?

If you have good answers to just one question then proceed. If not you may want to stop yourself before you dig yourself too deep.

Where this advice would be most applicable is at a party or social scene, and especially if there is drinking involved. Saying you only did something because you were drunk will not likely fly with your friends, nor will it if the cops are notified. As an alcohol awareness speaker said to a crowd of students last month, “A single bad choice or night can cost you everything, either now or later on.”

Most men may be thinking that many college women often pull the same crap as college men, and they don’t have to face the kind of social or legal repercussions for the same actions that men do. While that may be true in certain situations, allow me to let you guys in on something. It’s unfair, but you have to get over it and be careful of how you conduct yourself.

We guys at times do dumb things, but often times we do so without thinking. Please be aware that not all of us are the typical jerk. More often than not are merely young and confused on how to behave. If the mistake was a fairly harmless or innocent one I ask that you just let it go or let the guy know what he’s doing is not okay. Sometimes all we need is to hear that an action is inappropriate and we won’t do it again.

So, guys try to be respectful and be aware of the potential pitfalls that some of your actions or decisions can land you in. And females, if the chance to forgive and forget is an option, I urge you to consider it. As for the general conduct from both sides of this issue, I leave you with a final warning. A reputation can take a lifetime to build, but only seconds to destroy.

Our years in college can be quite confusing, as many of the boundaries and rules that were set in high school become blurred or just thrown out the window. College represents the start of our lives as young adults, who are no longer under the watchful eyes of teachers, parents and other community members. So it’s not surprising that on occasion people may go a little overboard sometimes.

There are limits to how far we students should go. Getting drunk once in a while is one thing, but getting drunk and then vomiting in different spots all over the dorm is not acceptable. While we are essentially free to act as we wish for the first time, we’re also expected to act like young adults and should behave as such. This is especially relevant for the men on campus and how they react to women.

Guys, I can understand how tough it can be at times to know what is and isn’t appropriate around college women, especially the insane ones. At times, they out-drink and out-party even the heaviest of male alcoholics, wear what would amount to in other cultures as rags for fashion and sometimes can be shameless flirts. This manner of behavior can be very confusing for men, and sometimes you may not know how to proceed. However, before you say or do anything to a woman; you should ask yourself one simple question:

Is the thing I’m going to say or do ethical or legal without her consent, or has she given me consent?

If you have good answers to just one question then proceed. If not you may want to stop yourself before you dig yourself too deep.

Where this advice would be most applicable is at a party or social scene, and especially if there is drinking involved. Saying you only did something because you were drunk will not likely fly with your friends, nor will it if the cops are notified. As an alcohol awareness speaker said to a crowd of students last month, “A single bad choice or night can cost you everything, either now or later on.”

Most men may be thinking that many college women often pull the same crap as college men, and they don’t have to face the kind of social or legal repercussions for the same actions that men do. While that may be true in certain situations, allow me to let you guys in on something. It’s unfair, but you have to get over it and be careful of how you conduct yourself.

We guys at times do dumb things, but often times we do so without thinking. Please be aware that not all of us are the typical jerk. More often than not are merely young and confused on how to behave. If the mistake was a fairly harmless or innocent one I ask that you just let it go or let the guy know what he’s doing is not okay. Sometimes all we need is to hear that an action is inappropriate and we won’t do it again.

So, guys try to be respectful and be aware of the potential pitfalls that some of your actions or decisions can land you in. And females, if the chance to forgive and forget is an option, I urge you to consider it. As for the general conduct from both sides of this issue, I leave you with a final warning. A reputation can take a lifetime to build, but only seconds to destroy.

Reach columnist Steven Campbell at [email protected]