The Rant: Sidewalk etiquette

To anyone it may concern,

Yes, your sidewalk etiquette could be much better. I am intolerant of people with no sense of their surroundings. I suppose I should be somewhat sympathetic, but I can’t bring myself to it.
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Nothing is more irritating than getting out of class, walking down the crowded sidewalk, or in the MUC between 11 a.m. and 12 p.m., and someone stops dead in the middle of the flow of traffic to look at their phone. I mean, how hard is it for people to keep a good speed? Pedestrian traffic has rhythm! Fall behind, and you’ll feel somebody tailgating close behind you. If you have to walk more slowly, please stick to the margins, and pull over to answer your texts or rummage through your bag. Also, please watch where you’re going. I promise you, you can’t multi-task. No, you’re not “good at it.” If you or a loved one is a slow walker, please seek help from a good walker.