From the desk: Fire alarm etiquette

What’s worse than a freshman pushing the button on Cherry Street? You guessed it: a freshman pulling the fire alarm in the dorms at 2 a.m. 

There is nothing more irritating than waking up from your deep slumber to the shrieking sound of the fire alarm. There are two scenarios. One: someone came back drunk, and uniquely and creatively decided it would be just hilarious to pull the fire alarm. Two: someone is burning ramen in the communal kitchen because they forgot to add water. 

Either way, we thought it would benefit the students on campus to share some tips on fire alarm and/or drill etiquette, because these scenarios are inevitable. When studying fire safety, it’s crucial to find out how many types of fire can occur and how to respond to each specific situation accordingly.

Real tip: The first thing you should know is that you just should refrain from pulling the fire alarm. But assuming someone has already done so, let’s move on to the next one. 

Real tip: The next thing you should keep in mind is this: if the fire alarm sounds, get the heck out of your bed. Please. For the sake of the rest of the building, get out of your room and outside. The longer it takes for you to get outside, the longer the rest of the building needs to be outside. And trust us, nobody wants to be outside in the dead of winter at 2 a.m. 

Fake tip: When moving towards the exits, make sure to scream loudly about how this is the “hundredth fire alarm this week.” The people on your floor who have unfortunately lost count of the fire alarms will thank you for the reminder. They will extend the favor back to you if the same happens to you. 

Fake tip: While you wait outside, make it a point to yell at the Resident Assistants about how you want to enter the building again. Once you have done this, the RAs will re-enter the building and extinguish the fires themselves to ensure that you may re-enter the building in a timely manner. 

Fake tip: When everyone has determined it is safe for you to re-enter the building, make sure that you do so as loudly as possible. When walking up the stairs, stomp your feet angrily. When you get to your floor, make sure you tap your ID in such a way that the card reader can’t read it, forcing you to tap your ID more than three times. And finally, when you re-enter your room, slam the door as loud as possible. All of these steps are imperative in letting everyone else know that you are not happy that you had to wait outside for ten minutes.

Now you know the proper etiquette during a fire alarm. We hope you never have to use it.