Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia — Growing Out a Pixie: From Justin Bieber to Javier Bardem

Over the course of the 2012-13 school year, this blog will record my hair-related trials and tribulations, (the good, the bad and the downright terrifying) as I attempt to grow out a pixie to just-shorter-than-shoulder-length hair, in time for my spring commencement.

But this ain’t my first rodeo. No. I’ve grown out my hair from a pixie cut to shoulder-length hair once before, not too long ago. (From October 2010 – May 2011, to be exact). But last January I got sick of my luscious locks and cut it all off again. However, this “grow-out” around, I will be documenting the process weekly with photos, this blog, etc. Further, I will be taking a photo of my hair every couple days over the next nine-or-so months to document my hair growth for a time lapse video at the end of the process! Talk about exciting.

The basics:

•Typically, those with a pixie get a haircut every 6 weeks (give or take a week) in order to maintain the ‘do.

•If one does not maintain a pixie properly, you end up with a mullet (with a lot more party in the back than business in the front.)

•Shaping — instead of a haircut, those growing out a pixie get “shaping cuts” every two months or so. Shapings are less about cutting off oodles of hair and more about giving the hair shape as it grows out.

Overall, the process is a delicate one — one I’ve given a five-stage breakdown:

Stage 1: “The Mia Farrow”:

Simply put, this cut inspired by actress Mia Farrow circa “Rosemary’s Baby,” is cute and manageable and everything else a good pixie cut should be.

Stage 2: “The Bieber Bob”: (I am currently in this stage).

Yes, you guessed it; this stage’s namesake is none other than teen-heartthrob-pop-superstar, Justin Bieber. This luscious ‘do’ is equipped with side sweeping bangs ideal for head bobbing, making teenage girls melt and the root of a lifelong, bang-flipping twitch. Needless to say, I am not as big of a “Belieber” in this hairstyle as the Biebs himself was.

Stage 3: “The Beatles Circa 1960s-Mop-Top-Shag-Do”:

This stage screams “Help! I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody” — a hairdresser. It has more length than the “Bieber Bob,” but is just as, if not more, awkward. Other than that, these locks look sweet with an 80s-style sweatband in an Olivia Newton John, “Let’s get physical” sort of way.

Stage 4: “The ‘No Country for Old Men’, creepy-as-all-hell, Javier Bardem (as Anton Chigurh) Bowl Cut,”:

You’re almost there. However, by entering the fourth stage, one has entered the single-most creepy stage. If Javier Bardem couldn’t pull off this look, there’s no hope for the rest of humanity. At this point, based on past experience, it becomes harder and harder to look at yourself in the mirror and not see Anton Chigurh staring back at you. It’s terrifying. Invest in hats, bandanas, headbands — they’re your new best friend.

Stage 5: Normalcy, sweet normalcy.

You’ve made it! Congratulations! At this point, the hair has grown into a simple, yet, awesomely normal bob. There’s no more need for shaping, just trims. From here on out, just let your hair grow to the desired length and style as you please! You’ve survived a pixie grow-out. At least until you get the urge to cut it all off again.