It’s okay to not be a die-hard feminist

One thing I’ve noticed about the world is for women to accept each other as feminists, every woman must be an extremist, or else they aren’t part of the women’s movement at all.

As a woman, I embody the values of feminists. I’m just not a “die-hard” feminist.

I support equal pay for both men and women, for further action to be taken when it comes to the issue of sexual assault, for the right to make one’s own choices when it comes to one’s body and for paid maternity leave. I believe in many of the ideas and changes women want, but I simply don’t act as fiercely upon them.

It seems as though a lot of passionate people involved in the women’s movement have become overshadowed by what they’re fighting for, and blame others for what they have yet to achieve.

They blame men who they feel are always against them and they blame women who aren’t fighting side-by-side with them.

This is simply unjust, though, especially to men.

For instance, several men whom I’ve talked to about this issue agree with a lot of the changes feminists want to see happen. They, in addition, would be willing to speak up if someone said tarnishing things about the rights women fight for, but they just may not be publicly spending their day-to-day lives striving to make these things happen.

Maybe that seems unfair to feminists — that men are automatically given more rights than us and don’t have to fight for them.

I can definitely see that, however, many of the rights men have today were given to them centuries ago. They were told they had the duty to provide for their family and keep everyone safe. They were always given the power and therefore got more rights. And while I know women certainly deserve to have these same rights, we shouldn’t punish men for having them first, because it was how society was constructed at the time.

Simply stated, men shouldn’t be bashed as a whole, and it’s unbecoming for feminists to hold biases against them.

Some feminists also keep convincing themselves that they haven’t made advancements in this world and this is entirely untrue. They should instead be cherishing how far we’ve come and the gains we’ve made.

They should be conducting themselves similarly to the extraordinary leaders of the past, like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. These women were responsible for forming the Women’s Suffrage Movement and making advancements toward getting women the right to vote. Though it took a while to accomplish this goal, they orchestrated themselves in a respectful manner. When they achieved their goals, they were proud and grateful.

Instead, some feminists today are angry because they have to keep fighting for what they want, and they remain unappreciative for what they’ve accomplished. This shouldn’t be the case because nothing in life is easy and feminists aren’t the only ones fighting for a cause that takes time. It remains this way with various ethnic groups, LGBTQ+ communities, people with disabilities, people with mental illnesses and many more.

While I know these passionate feminists are just trying to make the world a better place, it shouldn’t come at the price of diminishing others who maybe just aren’t as passionate as they are.

I lead a life in which I won’t punish the men in my life for maybe not striving for everything the feminist movement involves. I’ll one day be a wife who won’t mind cooking her husband nice meals sometimes or completing house chores. I’ll be a wife who sees these things as kind acts, not things that make me less equal.

I’ll remain a sensible feminist. I’ll continue to agree with certain causes the women’s movement is fighting for and I’ll support the ones I feel ardent about if I so chose.