Am I Doing Enough?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought wow they really have their life together? Well I have and I do, literally all the time.
There’s a certain kind of performance art taking place across campus lately. I’ve seen it in color-coded Google Calendars, perfectly crafted fall outfits and, of course, social media posts. It’s the illusion that everyone around you has their lives together, except for you. Well guess what, they don’t.
Burnout doesn’t always have to look like a breakdown, sometimes it can be high functioning. It’s like forgetting what day of the week it is, or rereading the same snippet of your textbook 18 times before it actually makes any sense, or crying in the library over everything and nothing all at once.
It’s the slow unraveling that happens when you’re trying to be the best version at everything you possibly can be, a good friend, a solid leader, a decent student while still feeling behind at just about all of it.
Yet we keep pretending. We post the big game day wins, the group hangouts, the things we think will make us look seemingly put together. We collectively say “Sorry, I’m busy” like it’s some kind of gold star. We say we’re going to show up to school sanctioned events that we don’t have the energy for, and then feel guilty when abandoning our plans.
As college students we chase productivity as though it’s some kind of proof of self-worth. But the truth is having it all together is a dream that not even our favorite celebrities can accomplish. The capacity for everyone to be perfect is a myth.
Okay so if everything is fake, then what’s real? For me it’s the little things, the friend who texts “you alive?” After not seeing me for a few days, it’s the professor telling students to “take care of yourselves,” as they walk out of the classroom and actually meaning it. It’s buying a $6 dollar latte or a sweet treat just to help get through the day.
The truth to me is found in what’s messy, staying up until 3:00 a.m. to watch a silly movie, it’s choosing sleep over hours of doomscrolling. It’s the act of continuing to show up for things even when you’re running on fumes.
If you’re feeling behind or constantly finding yourself comparing your life to those of others, just remember you’re human and you are on your own path and maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.
