Q&A: USD softball player recognized for contribution

EDITOR’S NOTE: Each week The Volante sports staff will interview a member of the USD athletic community and ask them off the wall questions. Enjoy the hilarity.

Senior Mel Johnson is a pitcher for the USD softball team. Johnson was named the Great West Conference Pitcher of the Year for the 2010 season.

Emma Murray: If you were able to teleport to any place and time, where would you go and why?

Mel Johnson: I would want to stay in the present. I don’t like looking back at the past. I’ve always wanted to go to Jamaica.

EM: What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you during a game?

MJ: Right after I hit, it was kind of an infield hit so I was trying to run really fast and I totally tripped over the base and definitely biffed it.

EM: If you were stranded on a desert island with only a pogo stick, how would you use it to get off the island?

MJ: I don’t know. Do they float? I’d probably try to float with it and swim.

EM: If you could master one dance move, which would it be and why?

MJ: The “Stanky Leg.” I have tried to learn that and I can’t do it at all.

EM: Pencil mustache or handle bar mustache?

MJ: Pencil because when it’s thick it just gets in the way.

EM: If you could choose between having William Hung or Rebecca Black’s (Friday viral hit) singing voice which would you choose and why?

MJ: Probably Rebecca’s because I feel like she’s more passionate.

EM: How far east can you go before you’re heading west?

MJ: I mean once you go all the way east, you’re obviously west, so all the way around I guess.

EM: Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when someone turns the lights on?

MJ: No, they stay glowing, but you can’t see it because the lights are on.

EM: What would be the title of your autobiography?

MJ: I don’t think I’d ever write an autobiography because I hate writing.

EM: What’s your least favorite movie?

MJ: Any romance movies, like “The Notebook.” I don’t like watching those.

EM: What if you got “stuck” in that movie? What would you do?

MJ: I would first off try to isolate myself from the situation. What would I do? I would die, probably.

EM: Why is a softball called a softball if it’s anything but soft?

MJ: I’ve always wondered that, but I have no idea. It’s definitely hard.

EM: If you could choose between having the body of a centaur or the tail of a mermaid which would you choose? Why?

MJ: Probably the tail of a mermaid because I think it would be fun to swim all the time.

EM: If there was a robot vs. alien war, who would win and why?

MJ: Robots. I feel like they would be really hard to destroy.

EM: If you had to choose between your cleats or helmet to protect you during a zombie apocalypse, which would you choose and why?

MJ: The helmet because I’m not a very violent person so I think I’d try to save myself rather than try to kill other people.

Reach reporter Emma Murray at [email protected].