BLOG: Entering the ‘mullet danger zone’

Forty-two days ago, on Aug. 15, I got my last real haircut.
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In another 57 days, around Thanksgiving break, I will receive my first shaping.

At this point, I have entered the beginning phase of Stage 2 — ‘The Bieber Bob.’ But more importantly, I have entered the sixth week of my grow-out, the point when I typically get a haircut to maintain the ‘do.

Unfortunately, as part of the grow-out process, I have to surpass the routine ‘hey-its-been-six-weeks’ pixie cut — entering the ‘Mullet Danger Zone.’

Hair grows about a half-inch to an inch each month, depending on the person (I think my hair grows closer to the half-inch rate). Inevitably, as your mane grows out from a pixie, the region above the ears has to grow much longer in order to catch up to the Billy Ray Cyrus-like tail beginning to cascade down your shoulders causing many-a “Achy Breaky Heart.”

The solution: Buy cheap scissors, but make sure they are sharp enough to cut hair. Find a friend with a steady hand, knowledge of what a straight line looks like and the guts to tell you when you look like you belong at a Kid Rock concert yelling, “Free Bird!” Then, keeping a ‘less is more’ mantra in mind, have your friend trim just a little off the party going on in the back.

Voilà! Now the hair above your ears has more time to catch up to the lower half.

As of now, I don’t need a mullet-maintenance cut just yet, but in the eight weeks to come before my first shaping, I’m sure I will need at least one, and when I do, I will take photos.

In this stage, I’ve often wondered if it would be possible to bring the mullet, or even the rattail look back, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

But hey, who knows? The 80s/90s are making a comeback. I may have to mull it over.

Until then, bring it on, ‘Mullet Danger Zone.’