COLUMN: New year, fresh start

During my time in Vermillion, I have devoted much of my energy to reforming myself and my lifestyle for the better.
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Part of this process was making a list of all the people I ever hurt and contacting them in an attempt to make things right.

For those of you interested in starting your year with a clean slate, I highly recommend doing this. I will even provide anecdotes from this very enlightening experience to guide you through the four types of encounters you are going to have.

The first is made up of conversations which resulted in some kind of positive resolution. I made my apology, the other person forgave me and/or apologized also and we went our separate ways in life. Everyone felt good about themselves and we all lived happily ever after, sort of.

There were a few occasions where my apologies were unnecessary. The conversations often included tones of surprise and frequent use of the word “misunderstanding.” I learned these individuals I thought I’d hurt held zero ill will toward me, and we all lived happily ever after, sort of.

Next are the people who you will never be able to find any kind of positive resolve with. They are often people you once considered close. These conversations were some of the most difficult I’ve ever had to engage in.

I learned that the person I considered my best friend for the majority of my life had never considered our friendship anything special and had no particular interest in staying in contact with me.

The second person was another girl who I had considered a “best friend.” Though she had done many terrible things to me during the course of our friendship, I hoped for many years we could make amends. One of life’s great tragedies is that some people will never change, and that’s all I have to say about that.

The last person in this group is my ex-boyfriend. After our final exchange, I was finally able to understand my feelings for him were never as serious as I thought, as well as the fact that he will never feel remorse for his actions. I also was able to see just how far his hairline had receded since I saw him last, so I lived happily ever after, sort of.

Finally, there’s a little something I like to call “the never-ending story.” This is the person who you can have the worst fights with and they will always forgive you, no matter how irrational you have been. You will also always be able to forgive them, no matter how stubborn they have been.

You are never going to have any kind of resolution with this person, because you will never really be done with them. Even when the fight you had was so terrible that you think it’s over forever, sooner or later you will think about everything you left unresolved and you’ll set things right again so you can live happily ever after, sort of.

So everyone, start the year out right and make amends for your past mistakes. If you do, you’ll live happily ever after, sort of, or end up writing about it in The Volante like me.

Reach reporter Betsey Horton at [email protected]