BLOG: Denial is my favorite

One sunny day, I decided to be a reporter.

My family and friends supported this decision, so I kept working toward my goal.  I was even offered a scholarship at the University of South Dakota and even though I didn’t get it, I still felt like the department supported my dreams and wanted me to succeed.

But I was seeing everything through first-year-colored glasses.

After dealing with this department for three years, I’ve discovered that once department heads pick favorites, everybody else gets left in the dust. Incoming first-years are welcomed with open arms, but if you don’t win certain scholarships or dedicate your life to the newspaper and only the newspaper, you’re shunned.

I’m not exaggerating. I’ve been presented with countless opportunities thanks to the folks here at USD, and for that I will forever be grateful, but I’ve also been left behind. Other people in the program have been openly told they are not going to be chosen for Editor-In-Chief before they even applied based on the scholarships they’ve been awarded. That doesn’t make us try harder, that makes us quit.

I always thought I’d apply for the Editor in Chief position one day. While I didn’t really expect to get it, there was always the little voice in my head that told me I had a miniscule chance. Thanks to the politics of the department, I now realize that I never had a chance, and that pisses me off.

While I don’t mean to complain and make it sound like I’m not grateful, I’m frustrated. But that’s when I have to remember that I’m happy.

Yes, I’m happy working with the Verve section, and I’m happy with the amount of responsibility I do have. I’m happy with my desk and I’m happy with my computer. I’m happy with the people I work with and I’m happy with the amazing internships I’ve been lucky enough to land.

So, in conclusion, life isn’t fair. I’ve always known this, but experiencing it first-hand is never fun. I’ve found that the key is being optimistic and trying to never lose the first-year, “Everything is awesome and everybody loves me and wants me to succeed,” outlook on life. Come to think of it, maybe that’s technically called denial, but it’s working for me.