COLUMN: Halloween: Best and worst dressed

For those of you who may have missed it, I wrote a column two weeks ago where I suggested everyone go to Drown Night on Halloween so I would have material to write about. I have returned to publish the results of this adventure, though not in the exact format which was originally promised.

I am handing out my “Best” awards to everyone dressed as a Star Wars character. As a disillusioned, but dedicated Star Wars fan, it always makes me extremely happy to run into likeminded individuals. Congratulations on being awesome, and may the Force be with you.

Next, I have to recognize two groups of people whose costumes were so bad they were good. One must always have guilty pleasures, and these two costumes provided me with both entertainment and an insight into American

culture.

The first award goes to the muster of sexy peacocks. I don’t really understand why this costume is so popular, but I saw enough ladies rocking the majestic plumage of the male peacock to look up the collective noun. That in itself merits recognition.

The second goes to all the guys I saw in head-to-toe camouflage. I’m not sure if you’re wearing a Halloween costume or if you went pheasant hunting that morning and were too lazy to change. Luckily for you, it works either way. Well-played, my friends.

Finally, I have the award for the Worst Halloween Costume: everyone who dressed in their underwear.

I admit I expected to see more than my fair share of “sexy” Halloween costumes. What I did not expect to see were people wearing underwear as a “costume.” It wasn’t just women either; I saw plenty of men guilty of this too.

Seriously? I know thinking of a Halloween costume can be difficult, but at least pretend you made an effort.

As someone who has worn fishnet tights and short skirts on more than one Halloween, I can sympathize with the notion that one can get away with dressing a little more scandalous than usual. However, there is a difference between wearing a “sexy” costume and wearing your underwear out in public.

The “worst of the worst” is a perfect example of this. Someone wearing a corset and a pair of Bat symbol panties was claiming to be “Batman.” I don’t know what adult film you’ve been watching, but Batman doesn’t dress like that.

Just to be clear, this was voted worst costume because of the obvious reason that it wasn’t even close to resembling the original character. I’m sure Bruce Wayne would agree that fighting crime in one’s underwear is a terrible idea. That’s why he has military-grade armor.

And so another Halloween has come and gone. Thank you to those of you who celebrated with an appropriate amount of creativity. Your efforts are always entertaining and appreciated by those of us who also take our costumes seriously.

As for the rest of you, well, next year try not to forget to put a costume on before you leave the house.

Reach reporter Betsey Horton at [email protected]