BLOG: A fairly frequent flyer’s plea

Etiquette is a part of every day life. Whether it’s in a college cafeteria, a job interview or drinking beer with your friends, there are social rules that we all follow whether we like it or not.

These same rules should apply when flying in an airplane, but for some reason, the way people throw ‘pleases’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ out the window continues to baffle me.

I’m a fairly frequent flyer, so when I board a plane I know what to expect. Mothers will pretend not to notice when their toddler tries to eat part of my sandwich and then proceed to wet themselves. Elderly folks will take their sweet time doing whatever it is they’re doing. Someone in the vicinity will fart. Large groups will always try to barter for seats that are together, to which my answer is usually “No, because you can live without each other for two hours and if you really think you can’t, I suggest buying seats together next time.”

There will also be the peanut butter-eaters, the children who run up and down the isles, the sleepers who make you crawl over them to go to the bathroom and of course, the angry flight attendant.

But why am I so accustomed to this chaos? When did flying turn into a smelly carnival of souls, destined for hours of uncomfortable hunger and turmoil?

I remember my first time flying. I was with my mother and aunt on a trip to Texas. The flight attendant smiled at me and gave me a pin with my first flight wings and I was instructed to sit quietly and watch out the window. I couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, and I was not running up and down the isles, crying, screaming or shouting for my turn on the iPad. It might make me sound old, but parents really need to reign in their kids these days.

So, I beg of you; remember basic social behavior and etiquette when flying the not-so-friendly skies. Mind your p’s and q’s, respect your neighbor and please, for the love of God, don’t bring an egg salad sandwich to eat on the plane.