BLOG: Names cause problems for the Girl with the Glasses

What is in a name? An interesting question, Mr. Shakespeare. It’s a question that caused no little bit of controversy on Facebook this last week.

Sometimes when I’m lying awake at night and pondering my life, I consider my name. Sometimes I say it to myself over and over again. “Jackie.” After a while, it doesn’t even sound like a word. How strange it is to think that this collection of sounds people make somehow relates to me specifically. Names are strange that way. They exist because saying one word to reference a particular person is easier than saying, “That girl with the glasses and the brown hair who likes to be alone a lot and writes blogs for The Volante every week, you know, that one.”

Last names are even more interesting. Rather than a specific person, they signal what family you associate with. Occasionally, last names even give hints to a possible ethnic background. And in a country where last names like Smith, Jones and Jackson are so common, some last names stand out as different and even strange. And sometimes, people without a level of cultural understanding or, arguably, common courtesy, use those names as targets for ridicule.

This issue comes to mind after seeing a picture posted on Facebook of a former university staff-member’s name. He’s a Native American man, and his last name can be considered by some to be unique or different. The caption to the photo showed an incredulous attitude that this was a “real” name.

Now, I don’t want to attack the person who posted this photo. I’ve actually had a class with him before, and from the little I’ve interacted with him, I seriously doubt that his goal was to disrespect this man. According to the (less than respectful) responses of his friends, his post was meant as an inside joke.

Unfortunately, that still means that someone’s last name — a signal of personal and family and cultural history — is the butt of a joke.

Faster than you could say “Holy Facebook debate!” the photo had been shared over 50 times with many people equally offended and angered not only by the assertion that someone’s name, because it is different, isn’t “real,” but to the unkind attacks made by friends of the poster to someone who respectfully tried to explain why the caption could be considered offensive. As is typical in most Facebook feuds, obscenities and insults were thrown, and attention was attempted to be diverted from a moment ripe for a small lesson in cultural acceptance to the fact that other Facebook users were sticking their noses where they didn’t belong.

I agree wholeheartedly that people are free to post what they want on their personal Internet profiles, but it’s important to remember that nothing on the Internet is truly private, especially if you don’t fiddle with Facebook privacy settings. When you post something controversial, even if you don’t realize it as such, don’t be surprised when it results in a heated exchange of comments. That’s just one of the possible morals of this story.

The greater one that I hope shines through is this: Don’t be afraid to open yourself to an opportunity to learn about someone’s culture. No one wants to spend hours agonizing about whether their post is politically correct, but don’t think yourself so important that anyone else’s respectful input is part of an agenda or an inconvenience to you.

In the time it took me to write this blog, it seems the picture in question has been deleted. I can’t say I blame the poster, and I hope this piece doesn’t result in any attacks on him or his friends. But I do hope a few people learned something from this uncomfortable situation. Sometimes, that’s what it takes to better understand our neighbors and colleagues.