COLUMN: Little tests make dating miserable

Going into this date, I had very little information on the individual I would be taking. I tried to plan a casual-enough date with changeable enough options, so I took her to eat first, and then out for drinks.

After deciding what the date should be like, I worked on deciding what I should look like. It occurred to me this pre-date prepping everyone does is sort of a lie.

I mean, I would not normally shower after school if I was going out to dinner with friends and would not feel the need to get my car washed. The old adage of “being yourself” is all good, but still, everyone gets ready before a date even though they have been ready for the world since they woke up.

I picked up my date and she wasn’t fully prepared to go, so I came into her apartment for a minute. This was super weird, because I didn’t want to just sit down and make myself at home, and I didn’t want to start judging my date based on her residence. I mean, who really wants to be judged by the mess that might be their roommates?

My date seemed very sociable and talkative, but I was worried about talking too much or too little. I know I do not do well with awkward silences, so I tend to blabber on and on. Furthermore, there are some topics I am sure everyone would rather not talk about on a first date and if I drone on, I tend to talk about them. However, our waitress saved the day by arriving to take our order.

As a bartender, wine has been my business for the last three years. When I offer to order a bottle of wine, I can’t grasp why anyone would turn it down. To my surprise, my date said she was not really much of a drinker and then chose to spend the rest of the evening talking about a weekend she got wasted with her mom.

I politely stuck with water and bit my tongue about her contradictions.

Dinner was pretty uneventful and even though she was “not much of a drinker,” she was OK with getting a drink at Carey’s afterward. She had me order her a drink without saying what kind of drink she liked, which was obviously a test I failed. At this point, I felt I had been relatively quiet, except for one moment when I went off on a chronology of The Chive, so I tried to talk a little more. My date pleasantly informed me I talk a lot.

This date was not a total waste. She was interesting and a nice enough person, but it was pretty clear she was not that interested in me.

She would answer my questions, but our conversation had no flow and her questions didn’t seem genuine. The worst part of the date was the stupid little test she put me through, but I realize a lot of girls and guys do that. My test was the wine, because, frankly, I do not know if I could hangout with a girl who does not drink wine.

So, rule one: Develop your test and know other people are always testing you, whether you like it or not.

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