BLOG: Midterm procrastination

Once upon a time, Jackie had to write a midterm paper on existentialism. Since this triggered a bit of a crisis, she decided to try writing a blog instead. And so the cycle of procrastination continued.

In the week since my paper was assigned, I’ve cleaned my dorm, clipped articles out of all The Volante issues I’ve collected so far, determined my spring semester schedule, gone bowling, repaired my bike and filled out a questionnaire to determine my suitability to be called for jury duty. (Sorry Winnebago County, I’m several hundreds of miles away.) I’ve watched hours of “Whose Line Is It Anyway” clips on YouTube and been thoroughly underwhelmed by the movie adaptation of “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” I’ve been gripped with holy terror that it’s now 4 p.m. on the Saturday before my paper is due and and I haven’t even started yet.

There are plenty of guidelines and advice articles on the Internet relating to procrastination, most of which I’ve also skimmed when I should have been writing my paper, so I don’t feel there’s too much I can really add to the discussion other than, “Yeah, bro, me too.” On the bright side, procrastinating may be the greatest unifying characteristic of college students—even greater than hangovers and crummy cafeteria food. I consider myself to be a pretty good student but I can procrastinate with the best of them. Sometimes I even put off major school projects with other projects. Like right now.

Midterm projects are like cleaning the preposterous amounts of hair out of the bathroom sinks on my floor so I can brush my teeth without puking. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but I still think life would be better if I didn’t have to do it, and I’ll therefore avoid the task as long as I can. Yet the following reality holds true for both school work and dental hygiene: the longer you put it off, the more it stinks. Though I’m far from being a reformed procrastinator, they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I think the minute I found myself perusing the Star Wars Wiki the problem was too great to deny.

I know the sooner I start this paper the sooner it will be finished. I know the more time I spend on it the better it will be. So I guess I should stop griping about how much I don’t want to do it and just try to get it done. Yet even as I type those words, this voice of wisdom comes to mind: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

That is how the quote goes, right? I’ll just check the Star Wars Wiki again super fast, email this to my editor and then I’ll start my paper.