Want People to be Kinder: Make Them Wait Tables
Most people spent spring break on the beach, hanging out with friends or catching up on sleep. However, for me, that wasn’t the case. Instead, I spent mine taking orders, washing dishes and apologizing for things that weren’t my fault.
Over break I was reminded again what working in hospitality teaches you about people, and honestly, I wouldn’t have traded it for a trip to Barcelona or a getaway to Mexico.
There is something about serving others that sort of strips away the distance we usually keep from one another in day to day life. In one single shift, you’ll see the full spectrum of people’s behavior: the customer who won’t look up from their phone, the one who thanks you as though you just saved their life, the couple who just finished arguing in the parking lot, the grieving mother, etc.
After a while you learn to read people before they even speak, to anticipate their needs, and in part, place them before your own. Working in customer service serves as a crash course in emotional intelligence that no classroom, internship or leadership position could ever replace.
When working in hospitality, the lessons aren’t theoretical, but unavoidable. You don’t get to nod along to a presentation about communication skills, instead you have to practice them in real time with real people, oftentimes in the middle of a rush.
It’s these kinds of situations that have taught me and many others how to deescalate tension before it explodes, how to apologize for things that aren’t your fault and stay gracious or kind, even when someone else isn’t treating you with that same respect.
That’s exactly why I think everyone should work in customer service at least once throughout the course of their lives. It forces you to confront situations that you would otherwise avoid. It allows you to gain perspective on other people’s lives just from the simple question of “How are you today?” Most importantly, it shows you how you react when under pressure.
Are you still kind to people even when you’re forty orders deep and three staff members short? How do you treat people when you are tired and haven’t had a day off in two weeks? What about when you’re being yelled at by a disgruntled customer for something that is entirely above your pay grade? These are the kinds of things that you question about yourself when working in customer service.
From my personal experience, hospitality work makes you more aware of the invisible labor around you, the work that goes into the things that seem as though they simply fell into place. It makes you more patient with the people doing all sorts of seemingly miniscule tasks and more generous in moments when kindness actually matters most.
Most importantly, it teaches you not to judge people based on one interaction. Instead be open minded and kind, not because you gain anything from it, but because sometimes it makes your day just to see other people’s days going well.
